It's funny how the most acute suffering can arise from an inability to motivate oneself to do something. I started feeling a bit down this afternoon while sitting in my room during lunch hour. My mind drifted off to the past and future, as it is often wont to do in pauses between working, especially when I am alone. I kept shaking myself (metaphorically, of course :-) ) and saying, "Wake up! Look here!" But my mind was up to its old tricks, trying to tense up and avoid the undesirable. It refused to tell my body to get up and get the heck out of the house. It wanted to stay at home and think miserable thoughts instead.
I finally convinced it to bike to the office. When I got there, I found it quite enjoyable to edit footage for a while and give my pent-up creativity a chance to surface. Then, to balance things out, I went on a bike ride to my special place outside the camp and did some climbing. It was absolutely fabulous, as I knew it would be!
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Heather, if you are reading this right now feeling a bit melancholic, irritated, tense, and/or impatient, it's probably because you've been in what Ms. Chödrön terms a "smelly coccoon" for much too long. It's time for you to fly out.
I have never underestimated the human tendency for restlessness, but I also believe that it can be overcome through the willingness to step outside the mental formations that prevent one from transforming it.
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